My FB memory showed me a quote I posted in 2009 by Khalil Gibran from The Prophet. The quote rings truer than true today as I'm about to end week four enter week five of ankle fracture recovery, and as I mentally prep myself for tomorrow's medical procedure where I have a screw removed from my ankle.
The quote: "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your misunderstanding."
In my injury, the pain was physical, but the physical pain often times reveals the emotional pain felt by many. After my very physical injury, I had a lot of time to think. Bed rest in Cusco, at 14k altitude means I wasn't taking strolls outside to get moving. I sat around a lot, watched a lot of dubbed in Spanish television and movies, and had a lot of time to think about what is important, and what isn't important, basically, "the misunderstanding" that Gibran refers to. Often we need to break the shell that we build around our belief systems of what is important and what isn't, but often times we do not break that shell ourselves, something causes the break, the shift, and we can choose to use it as a learning experience, or continue to live the way we have been. I call it a belief system, because when push comes to shove, you realize exactly what is and isn't important, and you understand that the reason something is or isn't important is because of what you believed or still believe to be true. Things usually become clear when you suffer physical or emotional pain because you have no time to focus on unimportant things or beliefs. It also illuminates who in your life is focusing on the unimportant bs that we tend to surround ourselves with.
As I recover, I haven't made my injury known, and many of you will only find out once I publish these blog posts. I kept my injury quiet because I did not want my parents freaking out that I was in a third world country undergoing surgery, and recovering without my closest friends and family around me. I realized that it was not necessary to have people know about my injury, unless they were directly affected by it. I told my brother first, my best friend, my friend whom I would fly in to help me for the next several weeks, and my clients and employers, so that my classes were taken care of. Ultimately, the number was small, and even in that small number I was able to see who was important and who was not. Who cared about my well being and who only cared about how my well being affected them. That's an interesting way to look at things. My pain cleared up the misunderstanding that I am important to anyone other than myself. At the end of the day, I should not be important, and being unimportant should not affect me. Being affected would be my ego telling me that for some reason or another I should be important. The quiet time and emotional pain I felt from being in my current situation came with the understanding that my ego was the least important thing that I needed to focus on. I thank the universe and the circumstances that led me to this belief. They say that in yoga we should practice non attachment. Thanks to my lesson I have learned to let go of my ego and because of it I have experienced much spiritual growth and self understanding.