November 19, 2016 6:35 p.m. Somewhere over the Pacific
The Nice Factor... A plus or a minus in dating.
So I will start this post by saying that I, by no means am an expert on dating. What I am pretty proficient at is not dating, and listening to countless friends of mine, male, female, straight and gay complain about the selection of possible mates. Unfortunately for all of us here in the tri-state area, it has been studied and studies show that we are in one of the worst possible locations for dating. With that said, I wanted to weigh in on the nice factor. Recently within a few friends and myself this curve ball keeps getting thrown in to the mix. Everyone says they want a nice person in their lives, yet time and time again when people get nice, they realize nice is not what they want. What is it about "nice" that seems appealing but isn't? The nice conversation came up several times within the past few weeks with a variety of people and I found it amusing enough to share. It went something like this:
How are things with ________(insert name, gender here) Things are ok. _____________ is very nice. (Followed by that nod of the head that says everything you need to know that nice isn't cutting it) And right away as soon as the person says __________ is nice, it's like there is an understanding between the two parties having the conversation where nothing else needs to be discussed. Pretty much end of conversation right there or, there's an explanation why nice is all that that person is and why nice is just not enough.
I remember having a conversation with a friend about two friends that went out. Each one of our respective a friends went on to tell us how nice the other person was. What was a shame was that we had to ask ourselves about our friends, is that a good thing that they said that? We actually came to the conclusion that it probably wasn't a good thing, and sure enough, it wasn't.
When did nice go from being a plus to a minus? Everyone still says they want nice when describing what they want in a mate, but nice is somehow not cutting it in the dating world. Are we all that fucked up that we get nice and can't handle nice, don't know what the heck to do with nice? I myself have no answers for you, I fit perfectly into that I want nice but then I get nice and I freak the f@@@ out crew. You'll get no answers from me, but if you have some to share with me, I'm happy to hear them!